Does Being Content Mean I Am Settling?
Have you ever felt genuinely content with your life, only to find yourself conflicted when others around you were “doing more”? Maybe a friend got a higher salary or a better job title, and suddenly your own job didn’t feel so good anymore. It’s a common feeling and it’s exactly what we’re going to explore.
Today, we will be starting a new series of questions and reflections called: “Finding Peace Through Contentment”. As part of this series, we will explore how being content and settling are different, how we can become content with what we have, how we can resist the pressure to chase more, and if there are any detrimental effects to being contect.
To kick-off this series, we will first ask ourselves: “Does being content mean that I am settling?”
Through this question, we’ll look at whether being content with your life is the same as settling for less than your potential. We’ll further explore how to find a balance between appreciating your current position and still moving forward, all while keeping in mind our core principle of simple living—making sure our lives are focused on what truly matters to us. There are no definitive answers here or in the reflection post to come. I’ll simply be sharing my own thoughts and journey on this topic.
If you’re interested, join us as we reflect on whether being content truly means that we’re settling.
As you read, please enjoy some film photography taken by my wife from our recent trip to Kanazawa, Japan.
Our Chase for More
Kenroku-en Garden
It has become too easy to want more than we already have. In my opinion, this is a byproduct of how media has evolved. Over the last 20 years, platforms like YouTube, LinkedIn, and TikTok have made it simple to get a glimpse into countless other lives.
Just a decade or so ago, the full repercussions of this constant visibility were unclear. Now, it’s increasingly evident that this exposure has contributed to mental health struggles, making feelings like anxiety, self-doubt, and loneliness more common.
So why bring this up? In the past, I struggled with these feelings, and reflecting on our question reminded me of those times. I quickly realized that much of my struggle stemmed from seeing what others had and realizing what I didn’t.
In my 20s, I spent an egregious amount of money on clothes to keep up with new trends and brands. I’d post photos of my purchases on social media, seeking validation through “likes”. Back then, I didn’t own a fancy car or house, or go on luxurious vacations, or have deep relationships. Wearing nice clothes and sharing it with others was my way of compensating for what I lacked. I found myself in a constant cycle of making more money, buying more clothes, and posting—this was my personal chase for more.
Content vs. Settle
Kenroku-en Garden
Now, I want to dive into what these words mean in our context.
When I first looked up the definition of content (as an adjective), “satisfied” was the most common definition. But the most interesting definition I found was from Oxford Languages: “in a state of peaceful happiness”. This is exactly how I would define content in the context of simple living.
On the other hand, I came across an interesting definition for settle (as a verb) by the Cambridge Dictionary: “to relax into a comfortable position”.
At first glance, they both sound positive right? “Peaceful happiness” and “comfortable position”—can’t they be the same? Yet, in daily conversation, we often use “settle” negatively:
“Why are you settling for that partner?”
“Don’t settle for that job when they treat you poorly.”
“Why settle for this when you can reach for that?”
There seems to be a discrepancy between the definition I found and our normal use of the word. So which is it? Should “settle” have a negative connotation to it? Is being content and settling truly different? That’s precisely what we will be thinking about through our reflection.
Our Reflection
Higashi Chaya District
For my own reflection, I’ll be thinking through these key questions:
How do I define “content” and “settle” when prioritizing moments over matter?
Why do I associate settling with a negative connotation?
What are the signs that tell me when I’m content vs. when I might be settling?
I’ll share my discoveries and thoughts on these questions in a forthcoming post.
Asking and answering tough questions like these isn’t always easy, but the journey of thinking through them can lead us to new discoveries about ourselves. Let’s take some time to reflect on whether being content means that we are settling and how that fits into our principle of choosing moments over matter.
What are your initial thoughts on this question? Feel free to share them in the comments below or reach out to me directly here.
And with that, see you on the other side—Enzo